20 Second Calm-Down Trick

Have you ever had one of those moments when you start ranting and raving about something that has upset you, you can feel your blood boiling as you continue to talk faster and faster, then you finally stop to take a breathe....(gasp)....and you realize that you just lost it.  Literally, you feel like you lost control of yourself.  All of the sudden you lost control of your emotions and started saying things that maybe you did not mean, should not have said or maybe you truly do not feel that way.  Well, you just experienced what I call an Emotional Hijack.  Your emotions and feelings took control of you and hijacked all sources for which you think, feel and act rationally.

This happens to a lot of people, so don't let it worry you.  Instead, let's talk about how to prevent it from happening again, or simply minimize the amount of times it does happen.  First and foremost, we have to understand, and most importantly accept, that we cannot control our emotions and feelings.  As much as we would love to and we attempt to, we simply cannot.  We do not have the ability to decide or choose how we feel about something.  But what we can do is control is our reaction.  We do have the ability to decide and choose how we react to something.  This can be life-changing! 

To help you accomplish this, it is very important to identify your feelings by stating them clearly.  For example "I am feeling angry/mad/sad/disappointed/_______(fill in the blank)."  The key is to include the very important word "feeling".  Without this, you are defining who you are and not what feelings you are experiencing.  For example, if you were to say "I am angry."  You are not an angry individual, you are simply feeling angry because of a particular situation that has occurred. By recognizing this feeling and not letting it define you as a person, you will be able to think more clearly and rationally. 

So, the next time you have a rush of feelings come over you, and you sense an Emotional Hijack is approaching, take 20 seconds to list off all of your feelings.  Identify them by stating "I am feeling _______."  Now that you've successfully identify your feelings, you can decide how you would like to react to those feelings instead of letting them take control of you.

Give it a try and leave a comment below to let me know how it is working for you.